i am back
back with a new-ish blog. the theme is mostly the same, not the backend, went back to Ghost. i kinda missed it.
i've ditched the old posts, they were... fine but i wasn't exactly doing okay, so it's mostly ramblings and such... which i will keep, for sure, but i won't make them public anymore, which is for the best.
i am doing better, even if i still encounter a lot of hardships. mostly things i left unchecked, that piled over time, and now, well, need to clean that up... it's a lot of work lol
internet sucks, sometimes
i tried my hands at venting on reddit or trying to socialize. what i didn't except is, people are becoming more and more warry of anything. naively, i thought i could present my AI stuff here and there, but forgot that 90% of people using clankers are asstwats doing it do shill some shit... and got mixed with them...
worse feeling ever... we do live in strange times, i should be warry too.
medication
after a while trying again and again SSRIs with my therapist, i just had enough. she was mid, as mid as you can get. she wanted to help, that's for sure, but didn't have the tools to do so.
turns out i have the ADHD thing. which explains a lot, but is also a lot, lot to process... but at least i've been booking apointments with a more inclined therapist, and got the right medication. ditched a lot of pills, pills that didn't help...
i do wonder what is next
i try to be optimistic and look up rather than down, but it's not easy. did meet some google people, did some good stuff, and still looking for the next day.
right now, i simply feel tired